When it comes to relationships, it seems that the Gospel singer, pastor and author, Dr. Marvin L. Sapp (also a Grammy-nominated) does know more than you may think. he was very open about it during the 2018 ESSENCE Festival Empowerment Stage, where he talked about all the lessons he has learned and talked about in his most recent book,   Suitable: Choosing and Being Chosen by the Right Mate.

Counseling so many couples in the last years has taught the singer lots of things, as he openly shared while talking to Charreah Jackson, the Essence Senior Editor. Furthermore, all of those things became the main inspiration for this pen writing for the latest book.

His thoughts are every one of us thoughts: “All of us have desired to meet that special person to spend the rest of our lives with,” and we should all keep in mind that “God’s plan for each of us is as individual as we are.”

It was elementary school when Sapp met his later on wife and they spend their teenage years as good friends. Funny story: they didn’t even go to prom together as a couple. However, it was a matter of time until the two fall in love with each other and ending up into a beautiful 20-year marriage. Sadly, his wife passed away from colon cancer in 2010, while leaving behind three amazing children.

The death of his wife made Sapp tried to recover and focused mainly on raising their children. Now that his children are all grown up and his heart is healed, he’s even thinking about finding a “suitable” partner.

“People have said to me so many times, ‘Marvin, you had an amazing marriage” which was entirely true. “I did; I really had an amazing marriage,” he continued. His words were so true and honest: “I couldn’t have asked for anything better and I believe that she was, without question, was my soulmate. However, I just believe with everything in me that God would not allow me to lose something great and not give me something greater.”

Sapp is now ready to find someone to love once again, but he isn’t dating, as many of us would say. He’s more like collecting data, which is quite an interesting way to see things. He candidly admits that
“Dating is your time to see if this is the person for you”. “One test for suitability comes when the skies darken, and storms arise. How will you both react to the struggles in life?” and we relate so much with his point of view.

The interview ended with his kind request for the people in the audience, looking for love to only do it with a heart full of love and no anger towards oneself.

“Understand that if it hasn’t worked or if it isn’t working or if it’s falling apart, love didn’t mistreat you,” and his words are so wise. “Love didn’t walk out on you, love didn’t cheat on you, love didn’t do you out, that individual did. So don’t be mad at love for what a person did not value and see in you.” As long as you’re taking notes and really feel it, there’s hope for you.

Don’t forget to also check the video above for a clip from the conversation. You’re also going to be able to find out a lot more about Marvin’s Sapp’s new book, “Suitable” at


Post originally published at Essence.com